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Bereavement and Loss

Bereavement and Loss

What is grief?

Every time life changes, even when that change is good, something else is lost. Loss is a big part of life. Grief is the journey you go on while you are trying to come to terms with having lost something or someone who was important to you.  There are times in life when you are more likely to feel loss, such as:

  • a relationship ending
  • moving to a new area
  • changing your job
  • when your children leave home, if you are a parent
  • retiring
  • your health getting worse
  • a person or animal you care about dying.

 

Has someone you care about died or are they seriously ill?

It can be very difficult when someone you care about dies or is seriously ill. Different people experience loss in different ways, someone else’s grief journey might be very different to yours.

 

There’s no right or wrong way to feel, but it’s natural to have strong emotions. People can feel deeply sad, confused, numb, scared about the future, or out of control. You might even feel like you’ll never feel okay again. These feelings will change over time – it’s really tough, but there are things that can help you to cope.

 

If you’re grieving, this video from BBC 3 is helpful.

 

How can I deal with this?

  • Try to talk to your family and friends, even if this feels hard or even impossible.
  • Do something practical like making a memory box with photos and objects that remind you of the person who has died.
  • When someone has died, think about doing something to remember them. Some ideas could be writing them a letter, poems and songs, drawing pictures, lighting a candle or planting a tree.
  • Try to stay active, spend time with friends, and keep to your normal routine as much as possible.

 

There are some things that can make grief more complicated and make it harder for you to rebuild your life again after losing someone you love. If the person died by suicide, or other traumatic event, for example, or if you had already had a lot of difficult experiences in your life before they died.

 

Who can I talk to?

Try to talk to someone you trust. Even if they’re grieving too, it could help them to share their feelings. If you would prefer to talk to someone you don’t know, check out the ‘Get Help’ links further down this page.  When someone you care about dies, particularly when someone dies by suicide, it can make you feel like you don’t want to be alive anymore too. If you are having any thoughts like this, please read our suicidal thoughts page.